The Little Things

We go through life never knowing how the little things we do may be effecting those around us. I don't know about you, but I tend remember the little things. Most of my favorite memories are special interactions with special people. One thing that someone said to encourage me. Just a smile when I was having a rough day. A hug from the cutest 3-year-old I know.

Usually we don't realize how big of an impact the little things can have on people, until we are touched by a "little thing" that someone did that meant so much to us. This summer while I was at camp, I had many moments that could have been my favorite. Getting to lead worship. Doing a dance with our church. Crazy fun games with friends. But the moments I remember, the ones I treasure are ones like the time that someone I didn't really know stopped me in the gift shop to encourage me. And getting to do the chicken dance with my children's pastor's 3-year-old daughter. But the one I remember the most was when one of the camp pastors took the time to ask me how I was, and listen for an answer.

I learned a lot of things at camp this past summer, but I think that the most important lesson I learned was to do what I can to encourage people with the little things. How about you? Do you find ways to encourage others in your everyday interactions? You may not ever know if you make a difference in someones life, but you will never know if you don't try.

Overcoming Rejection

Context:

Tori went to a youth retreat this summer. She goes every other year. Some kids who go stay for two whole months, and some stay for just the last week. Previous summers, Tori had gone for the whole two months, and built a "core group" of friends- but she had missed the last time, and was only staying for a week this time. All her old friends- except one, who this story is about- weren't there. Names have been changed.




Part One:


Being with such a large group, I couldn't see every one's faces. We were at Six Flags and I had partnered with an old friend, Trina, on this outing. She was a two-monther, however, so had a rather large group of friends- seeing that same group almost every day. One of the girls in the group looked so strangely familiar. I finally got a full view of her face, and knew her in an instant:
"Kaycee!" I said, as I darted up next to her. I was so excited- now, finally, I had someone to closely hang with, talk to, and you know... be my friend. Don't get me wrong, Trina was doing all she could to help me get along, but I still felt somewhat left out.

Now you can imagine my feelings as she turned to me, as if she was an un-concerned adult and I was an eight year old, and said "What do you want?"


I don't know what I said. I tried to collect my scattered thoughts and say something. I probably mumbled a few sentence fragments and a "nothing."I was wounded. And confused. Kaycee was one of my best friends, an original member of my core group. Suddenly, it occurred to me that she didn't remember who I was. That was it!

I walked back up to her, and when she wasn't conversing with another in the group I said, "You don't remember me, do you?"


"Yeah, I do. You're Tori, right?" I was only a little angry-mostly hurt. I had never experienced rejection before. And this was one person I least expected it from.




Part Two:


Every time I saw Kaycee after that, my heart sank, and I looked the other way. I had "gotten over" it- accepted the reality that Kaycee had rejected me, for whatever reason. But it still was constantly in my thoughts and it still made me sad.

On the last day, I decided that I needed to tell her that. I wasn't trying to make her apologize, but maybe she didn't know how she had made me feel.


I asked a girl who I know had hung with Kaycee two years ago how she treated her now. I wanted to be sure I hadn't misinterpreted Kaycee's actions, tone and words before confronting her. But I got the answer I had expected- she was in a clique and had ignored her this year.

I found Kaycee in a group and waited for her to break away for a moment. When she did, I asked if I could talk her for a moment. "What you did to me at Six Flags really hurt me." She looked confused, and asked what I meant. I wasn't crying, but I was getting slightly choked-up. I did whenever I thought of it. "You ignored me, and it really... hurt me."


"Oh, I’m sorry it made you feel that way." She said, looking genuine but not really sounding it. "I really was happy to see you. For a moment I was like, 'who was that,' but hen I knew it was you, and I really was happy to see you."

But then one of her friends came up to her, and she took leave of me- a quick hug and an "I'll see you in two years"




Conclusion:


Now that I’m back home, I don’t worry about it too much. I have my best friend, Bethany (who isn't in a clique, and I know will never reject me). I don't have to worry about who will partner with me, and sit next to me on the bus. I don't start to cry whenever I think about Kaycee. But I still have a memory of when I did.

I like to believe her apology was real, but I know it probably wasn't. She was happy to see me, and in consequence, ignored me. She was sorry I felt that way, but not that she did it to me. A poor choice of words? Maybe. But actions still speak louder than words.

Tori

Make it Matter

It has been about a year now since our dream was born, so I wanted to take the time to share with you some of our history and to encourage you to make a difference in your community.

About a year ago Tori and I found an article in Brio magazine, a magazine published by Focus on the Family for teen girls. It was called Make it Matter, and it featured Natalie Grant and some things that she was doing to "Make it Matter". There was also an opprotunity for girls to write in and share what they were doing to make their lives matter. So, even though we knew that we would be too late to submit it as a contest entry, Tori and I decided that we wanted to find something that we could do to make our lives matter.

Our idea was to minister to kids living in single parent homes. It has been amazing to see how the mission has stayed the same over the past year, but the dream has changed several times. While we are still working on what our exact means of ministry will be, our heart is still in the same place.

I wanted to share with you a quote from the article. "She (Natalie Grant) is striving to make her whole life matter. 'When I was in high school, I was consumed with blending in instead of doing stuff to stand out and motivate people,' She says. 'I really regret that. I wish I'd been consumed with standing out to make a difference.'"

Find something that you can do to make your life matter. You won't regret it.

Putting Pride to Death

Today, once again, I came up against a tough issue. My pride. Honestly, it is so hideously ugly, yet I rarely try to fight it! The question for me then becomes... How do I rid myself of it? I can't love me and serve me while claiming to love and serve Jesus. It just doesn't work!

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3&4

Look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. So if I say no to pride and offer to load the dishwasher, I take a step. If I say no to pride and pick up a piece of trash on the sidewalk, I take another step. If I say no to pride and ask my mom how I can help her, I take a step. Eventually looking to other's interests becomes easier and even joyful! And in the process, I move farther toward my ultimate goal: becoming the image of Jesus Christ.

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." Matthew 5:5

And, I'm proud to say, I am almost completely humble! Just kidding. I still have a long way to go, but I know that I don't have to do it on my own strength. How about you? Will you take steps today to say no to pride and become more like Christ?

Painful Prayers

As I was praying today, I prayed a painful and potentially dangerous prayer. "Lord, break my heart with the things that break your heart." I can't even begin to see or feel all of the things that break God's heart. But when He does give me just a slight glimpse of some of the things that break His heart, I find myself completely overwhelmed. Wanting to weep for the state of our society.

However, one of the many wonderful things that I have found out about God is that he gives us so many wonderful promised. In Matthew 5:4, Jesus says "Blessed are those who mourn, for THEY SHALL BE COMFORTED" (caps added, sorry, there were not italics). When we find ourselves mourning for the way things are, we can know that we will be comforted.

Random Rambling

Well, I must apologize for the lack of blogs recently. See, I have been mentaly bloging quite often. However, somehow my brain waves didn't make it all the way to the internet... Oh well. So, I decided to blog something that you can actually read for a change.

For those of you considering insanely long road trips, I suggest that you fly instead. I really don't mind driving most of the time, but this past Sunday my family spent 16.5 hours in the car (that time did include stops, but still...). Then on Monday we spent about 10.5 hours in the car. It was actually worse than the first day, because I was so sore. However, we did eventually make it to my grandparent's in Nebraska. But, enough about me.

As I was checking all of the wonderful blogs I read, I found this amazing post! This was written by one of the speakers at the camp that I go to every summer with my church. She is an amazing woman of God, and I recommend her entire blog. Rather than annoy you with more of my ramblings, I will give you the link. Learning to wait: http://bethbrawleytaylor.blogspot.com/2009/07/learning-to-wait.html. Enjoy!

We're Back...

Sorry about not posting for almost a month. We've been busy. However, Bethany intends to post a lot the rest of the summer (I'll be busy).

I wrote this "definition" for a contest. There are 15 winners, and the prize is an autographed CD by Jonny Diaz (who wrote the song "More Beautiful You") and a one year subscription to Susie magazine. Ten of the winners would have their definitions in the magazine, and one grand prize winner (chosen randomly) would be given an iPod Nano. All you have to do is send in your definition of beauty.

I had written and edited my definition several times, and sent it to my friend to see what she thought. I had already pasted it into the submission form and was just waiting for Bethany to reply to the e-mail. Well, when she finally did, she broke the news to me. Floridians can't enter! Oh, well. At least I have a blog post now. Here's what I wrote:

What makes a person beautiful? I myself had to think quite a bit before I could answer. My conclusion is, someone who’s filled with the fruit of the spirit.

Someone who loves as Jesus loved. Is filled with spiritual joy. Makes peace. Waits patiently. Always looks for opportunities to show kindness. Does good in other’s lives. Is firmly grounded in their faith. Is of a gentile spirit. And finally, someone who uses self control in their actions.

In my opinion, that’s what makes a person beautiful. And if you’re that lovely inside, who cares what you look like on the outside?

(Copyright © Tori Tj)

The contest ends on the 30th of June. If you want to enter, just go to the magazine website.

Tori