Overcoming Rejection

Context:

Tori went to a youth retreat this summer. She goes every other year. Some kids who go stay for two whole months, and some stay for just the last week. Previous summers, Tori had gone for the whole two months, and built a "core group" of friends- but she had missed the last time, and was only staying for a week this time. All her old friends- except one, who this story is about- weren't there. Names have been changed.




Part One:


Being with such a large group, I couldn't see every one's faces. We were at Six Flags and I had partnered with an old friend, Trina, on this outing. She was a two-monther, however, so had a rather large group of friends- seeing that same group almost every day. One of the girls in the group looked so strangely familiar. I finally got a full view of her face, and knew her in an instant:
"Kaycee!" I said, as I darted up next to her. I was so excited- now, finally, I had someone to closely hang with, talk to, and you know... be my friend. Don't get me wrong, Trina was doing all she could to help me get along, but I still felt somewhat left out.

Now you can imagine my feelings as she turned to me, as if she was an un-concerned adult and I was an eight year old, and said "What do you want?"


I don't know what I said. I tried to collect my scattered thoughts and say something. I probably mumbled a few sentence fragments and a "nothing."I was wounded. And confused. Kaycee was one of my best friends, an original member of my core group. Suddenly, it occurred to me that she didn't remember who I was. That was it!

I walked back up to her, and when she wasn't conversing with another in the group I said, "You don't remember me, do you?"


"Yeah, I do. You're Tori, right?" I was only a little angry-mostly hurt. I had never experienced rejection before. And this was one person I least expected it from.




Part Two:


Every time I saw Kaycee after that, my heart sank, and I looked the other way. I had "gotten over" it- accepted the reality that Kaycee had rejected me, for whatever reason. But it still was constantly in my thoughts and it still made me sad.

On the last day, I decided that I needed to tell her that. I wasn't trying to make her apologize, but maybe she didn't know how she had made me feel.


I asked a girl who I know had hung with Kaycee two years ago how she treated her now. I wanted to be sure I hadn't misinterpreted Kaycee's actions, tone and words before confronting her. But I got the answer I had expected- she was in a clique and had ignored her this year.

I found Kaycee in a group and waited for her to break away for a moment. When she did, I asked if I could talk her for a moment. "What you did to me at Six Flags really hurt me." She looked confused, and asked what I meant. I wasn't crying, but I was getting slightly choked-up. I did whenever I thought of it. "You ignored me, and it really... hurt me."


"Oh, I’m sorry it made you feel that way." She said, looking genuine but not really sounding it. "I really was happy to see you. For a moment I was like, 'who was that,' but hen I knew it was you, and I really was happy to see you."

But then one of her friends came up to her, and she took leave of me- a quick hug and an "I'll see you in two years"




Conclusion:


Now that I’m back home, I don’t worry about it too much. I have my best friend, Bethany (who isn't in a clique, and I know will never reject me). I don't have to worry about who will partner with me, and sit next to me on the bus. I don't start to cry whenever I think about Kaycee. But I still have a memory of when I did.

I like to believe her apology was real, but I know it probably wasn't. She was happy to see me, and in consequence, ignored me. She was sorry I felt that way, but not that she did it to me. A poor choice of words? Maybe. But actions still speak louder than words.

Tori