Overcoming Rejection

Context:

Tori went to a youth retreat this summer. She goes every other year. Some kids who go stay for two whole months, and some stay for just the last week. Previous summers, Tori had gone for the whole two months, and built a "core group" of friends- but she had missed the last time, and was only staying for a week this time. All her old friends- except one, who this story is about- weren't there. Names have been changed.




Part One:


Being with such a large group, I couldn't see every one's faces. We were at Six Flags and I had partnered with an old friend, Trina, on this outing. She was a two-monther, however, so had a rather large group of friends- seeing that same group almost every day. One of the girls in the group looked so strangely familiar. I finally got a full view of her face, and knew her in an instant:
"Kaycee!" I said, as I darted up next to her. I was so excited- now, finally, I had someone to closely hang with, talk to, and you know... be my friend. Don't get me wrong, Trina was doing all she could to help me get along, but I still felt somewhat left out.

Now you can imagine my feelings as she turned to me, as if she was an un-concerned adult and I was an eight year old, and said "What do you want?"


I don't know what I said. I tried to collect my scattered thoughts and say something. I probably mumbled a few sentence fragments and a "nothing."I was wounded. And confused. Kaycee was one of my best friends, an original member of my core group. Suddenly, it occurred to me that she didn't remember who I was. That was it!

I walked back up to her, and when she wasn't conversing with another in the group I said, "You don't remember me, do you?"


"Yeah, I do. You're Tori, right?" I was only a little angry-mostly hurt. I had never experienced rejection before. And this was one person I least expected it from.




Part Two:


Every time I saw Kaycee after that, my heart sank, and I looked the other way. I had "gotten over" it- accepted the reality that Kaycee had rejected me, for whatever reason. But it still was constantly in my thoughts and it still made me sad.

On the last day, I decided that I needed to tell her that. I wasn't trying to make her apologize, but maybe she didn't know how she had made me feel.


I asked a girl who I know had hung with Kaycee two years ago how she treated her now. I wanted to be sure I hadn't misinterpreted Kaycee's actions, tone and words before confronting her. But I got the answer I had expected- she was in a clique and had ignored her this year.

I found Kaycee in a group and waited for her to break away for a moment. When she did, I asked if I could talk her for a moment. "What you did to me at Six Flags really hurt me." She looked confused, and asked what I meant. I wasn't crying, but I was getting slightly choked-up. I did whenever I thought of it. "You ignored me, and it really... hurt me."


"Oh, I’m sorry it made you feel that way." She said, looking genuine but not really sounding it. "I really was happy to see you. For a moment I was like, 'who was that,' but hen I knew it was you, and I really was happy to see you."

But then one of her friends came up to her, and she took leave of me- a quick hug and an "I'll see you in two years"




Conclusion:


Now that I’m back home, I don’t worry about it too much. I have my best friend, Bethany (who isn't in a clique, and I know will never reject me). I don't have to worry about who will partner with me, and sit next to me on the bus. I don't start to cry whenever I think about Kaycee. But I still have a memory of when I did.

I like to believe her apology was real, but I know it probably wasn't. She was happy to see me, and in consequence, ignored me. She was sorry I felt that way, but not that she did it to me. A poor choice of words? Maybe. But actions still speak louder than words.

Tori

Scammed?

As my mom and I entered the Christian bookstore at the strip mall, a woman sitting on a nearby bench called out "Mam? Mam! I'm a single mom, out of work, and I was wondering if you would buy something from me so I can buy some groceries?" A little girl in a bright yellow shirt sat next to her, presumably her daughter.

"I'll think about. Will you still be here when I come out?" My mom asked. But I didn't hear the lady's reply as we walked into the store.

I couldn't help but think to myself she sure knew what she was doing, picking the Christian bookstore as her "shop."

At the checkout counter, my mom asked the our cashier "Do you know anything about the lady out front who is trying to sell something?"

"No," she replied. "I didn't know there was anyone out there."

"She said she's a single mom and wanted money for food." My mom explained. The cashier gave one of those knowing looks.

"I guess I'll have to call security on her." She said she hated doing it. But we understood. No solicitors.

My mom and I paused before walking out the door. There was no avoiding the situation. It's not that we didn't want to help her, but... The lady was still there, and when my mom told her that she didn't like giving money away to strangers, the lady's face fell a little. "I'm trying to think of what's around here..." My mom said. It was then I realized my mother's intention. She was going to buy the lady's groceries.

"There's a Winn-Dixie across the street," The lady replied, pointing to the busy intersection on her left. "You could buy me a gift card," she suggested hopefully.

"I don't think so." My mom replied. "I'd like to go with you. I'll drive over and you meet me there.

When, the lady did show up, along with her daughter my mom asked "Where do you live?" The lady named an area nearby.

As we walked along the grocery aisle, the girl fell in step next to me. Before I could utter a word, she piped up, "What's your name?"

"Tori." I replied. "What's yours?"

"Gabriell. I think Tori is a pretty name."

"Where do you go to school?"

"P-------- Elementary." The school she named was in the opposite direction where she supposedly lived. "Do you want to be friends?" I said sure. She chatted on about this and that, asking me questions, even made me do a pirouette when she found out I did ballet. I found out that she had a nine year old brother.

After we had checked out, Gabriell's mom said to the cashier, "Is there a place I can put my cart? I need to go get some bread." My mom and I went out to the car.

"Should we wait and see if her friend comes to pick her up?" My mom asked. The lady had told us a friend would pick her up. I did wonder why she had stayed in the store and not come out with us.

"No, it's none of our business," I replied. Actually, it was. After all, we had just bought her groceries. But what was done was done. "Give to those who ask," right?

As we pulled away, we saw a man, possibly the father, walk into the store with a boy who may have been nine.

A single mom? Maybe. Out of a job? Maybe. Lives in that certain area of town? Doubtless. We were probably ripped off. However it's not my place to judge, though I have done a good bit of supposing. I just hope that what my mom and I did had some sort of positive impact on this lady and her daughter.

Tori
P.S. On a side not, if you can ever help it, don't go to Winn-Dixie at night. It's kind of scary.

Are You Scared?

Recently God has taught me a few things about fear. It all started when I got a creepy chain email. It was a story about a girl who died an awful death, and another kid who got “taken” by her “ghost” and died in the same way. It then threatened that if you didn’t forward this email to your friends, her “ghost” will come for you.

Even though I don’t believe in ghosts at all, and the story was not logically sound, the enemy gripped my heart with fear. I spent some time praying and in the word for a while. Later, I checked Snopes. I found an article about it, and, not surprisingly, it said that the whole thing was false. The crew at Snopes had done some extensive research that showed that there were no deaths any place in the U.S. of that kind anywhere near the date specified in the email.

Nevertheless, I am very grateful for some of the lessons that I was able to learn. There are so many people who are so fearful. They are believing the lies. One girl who had forwarded it at one point wrote “It’s true! Cameron (the girl) don’t come for me!” I am sure that many people forwarded it out of fear. They didn’t want to die, and they though that forwarding that email would protect them. They didn’t understand that “The Lord almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, He is the one you are to fear, He is the one you are to dread.” Isaiah 8:13

Although I experienced some fear, I didn't forward the email. I deleted it. God controls my fate, not some stupid chain email.
-Bethany

I emailed this story to Tori after it happened, and she replied with a tale of her own. Her it is (with her permission, of course):

Do you remember the time a few years ago when I was kind of depressed because I had had an awful nightmare? I had let the Spirit of Fear take hold of me. The thing I saw is something one could very easily do, though the results that came of it were outlandish and si-fi -impossible. So I wasn't that scared, but I was depressed. Do you know how many times after a nightmare I've wondered: "How do people who don't know Jesus cope with this?" Whenever I had a bad dream, I would go and wake my mom. She would escort me back to my bed, pray with me, and leave. I don't know why (though I do know), but that always had a calming effect on me. I wasn't scared after that and was able to go back to sleep.



Anyway, there's the long version. Here it is in a nutshell: Jesus conquers fear, and I don't know how people can live without Him!

-Tori



If you ever receive a suspicious chain email, you can search at http://www.snopes.com/ and they can tell you the status of it. This is at least the third chain email myth that it has dispelled for me.



In closing, I just wanted to share a verse with you. It's 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."



Bethany:)