Overcoming Rejection

Context:

Tori went to a youth retreat this summer. She goes every other year. Some kids who go stay for two whole months, and some stay for just the last week. Previous summers, Tori had gone for the whole two months, and built a "core group" of friends- but she had missed the last time, and was only staying for a week this time. All her old friends- except one, who this story is about- weren't there. Names have been changed.




Part One:


Being with such a large group, I couldn't see every one's faces. We were at Six Flags and I had partnered with an old friend, Trina, on this outing. She was a two-monther, however, so had a rather large group of friends- seeing that same group almost every day. One of the girls in the group looked so strangely familiar. I finally got a full view of her face, and knew her in an instant:
"Kaycee!" I said, as I darted up next to her. I was so excited- now, finally, I had someone to closely hang with, talk to, and you know... be my friend. Don't get me wrong, Trina was doing all she could to help me get along, but I still felt somewhat left out.

Now you can imagine my feelings as she turned to me, as if she was an un-concerned adult and I was an eight year old, and said "What do you want?"


I don't know what I said. I tried to collect my scattered thoughts and say something. I probably mumbled a few sentence fragments and a "nothing."I was wounded. And confused. Kaycee was one of my best friends, an original member of my core group. Suddenly, it occurred to me that she didn't remember who I was. That was it!

I walked back up to her, and when she wasn't conversing with another in the group I said, "You don't remember me, do you?"


"Yeah, I do. You're Tori, right?" I was only a little angry-mostly hurt. I had never experienced rejection before. And this was one person I least expected it from.




Part Two:


Every time I saw Kaycee after that, my heart sank, and I looked the other way. I had "gotten over" it- accepted the reality that Kaycee had rejected me, for whatever reason. But it still was constantly in my thoughts and it still made me sad.

On the last day, I decided that I needed to tell her that. I wasn't trying to make her apologize, but maybe she didn't know how she had made me feel.


I asked a girl who I know had hung with Kaycee two years ago how she treated her now. I wanted to be sure I hadn't misinterpreted Kaycee's actions, tone and words before confronting her. But I got the answer I had expected- she was in a clique and had ignored her this year.

I found Kaycee in a group and waited for her to break away for a moment. When she did, I asked if I could talk her for a moment. "What you did to me at Six Flags really hurt me." She looked confused, and asked what I meant. I wasn't crying, but I was getting slightly choked-up. I did whenever I thought of it. "You ignored me, and it really... hurt me."


"Oh, I’m sorry it made you feel that way." She said, looking genuine but not really sounding it. "I really was happy to see you. For a moment I was like, 'who was that,' but hen I knew it was you, and I really was happy to see you."

But then one of her friends came up to her, and she took leave of me- a quick hug and an "I'll see you in two years"




Conclusion:


Now that I’m back home, I don’t worry about it too much. I have my best friend, Bethany (who isn't in a clique, and I know will never reject me). I don't have to worry about who will partner with me, and sit next to me on the bus. I don't start to cry whenever I think about Kaycee. But I still have a memory of when I did.

I like to believe her apology was real, but I know it probably wasn't. She was happy to see me, and in consequence, ignored me. She was sorry I felt that way, but not that she did it to me. A poor choice of words? Maybe. But actions still speak louder than words.

Tori

Are You Scared?

Recently God has taught me a few things about fear. It all started when I got a creepy chain email. It was a story about a girl who died an awful death, and another kid who got “taken” by her “ghost” and died in the same way. It then threatened that if you didn’t forward this email to your friends, her “ghost” will come for you.

Even though I don’t believe in ghosts at all, and the story was not logically sound, the enemy gripped my heart with fear. I spent some time praying and in the word for a while. Later, I checked Snopes. I found an article about it, and, not surprisingly, it said that the whole thing was false. The crew at Snopes had done some extensive research that showed that there were no deaths any place in the U.S. of that kind anywhere near the date specified in the email.

Nevertheless, I am very grateful for some of the lessons that I was able to learn. There are so many people who are so fearful. They are believing the lies. One girl who had forwarded it at one point wrote “It’s true! Cameron (the girl) don’t come for me!” I am sure that many people forwarded it out of fear. They didn’t want to die, and they though that forwarding that email would protect them. They didn’t understand that “The Lord almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, He is the one you are to fear, He is the one you are to dread.” Isaiah 8:13

Although I experienced some fear, I didn't forward the email. I deleted it. God controls my fate, not some stupid chain email.
-Bethany

I emailed this story to Tori after it happened, and she replied with a tale of her own. Her it is (with her permission, of course):

Do you remember the time a few years ago when I was kind of depressed because I had had an awful nightmare? I had let the Spirit of Fear take hold of me. The thing I saw is something one could very easily do, though the results that came of it were outlandish and si-fi -impossible. So I wasn't that scared, but I was depressed. Do you know how many times after a nightmare I've wondered: "How do people who don't know Jesus cope with this?" Whenever I had a bad dream, I would go and wake my mom. She would escort me back to my bed, pray with me, and leave. I don't know why (though I do know), but that always had a calming effect on me. I wasn't scared after that and was able to go back to sleep.



Anyway, there's the long version. Here it is in a nutshell: Jesus conquers fear, and I don't know how people can live without Him!

-Tori



If you ever receive a suspicious chain email, you can search at http://www.snopes.com/ and they can tell you the status of it. This is at least the third chain email myth that it has dispelled for me.



In closing, I just wanted to share a verse with you. It's 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."



Bethany:)

Good Friday

Today is, for many, a holiday with a small amount of mourning. People go to the beach or theater and hang out while taking the day off. Of course, for some, Good Friday is just like any other Friday. But in my family, Good Friday is pretty much the same as Memorial Day Weekend minus the home school convention that happens on that date each year. The other main difference is this day is set aside to remember the death of Christ instead of our war heroes.

On this day, I have mixed feelings because as I mourn Christ's crucifixion, my thoughts can't help but jump ahead three days in history to rejoice in His Resurrection. His humiliating death on the cross was terrible. Yet I know that He is not still dead- He is alive, and I cannot cry over his seeming destruction while I know this truth: He is risen. And the purpose for which He died is amazing. He died so my sins might be forgiven. Because of the events that happened on this day centuries ago, I will live eternally.

Tori
P.S. For a short touching story of Jesus' Crucifixion, read chapter 11, "Remember Me" of Chuck Colson's book Loving God.